Boom!

Sometimes the Gun Won’t Do
By GC SMITH

Raccoons have been
climbing on my boat
leaving muddy prints
and lumpy poo

if I get my rifle out
its boom will say
more than
shoo

Deer are chomping
on foundation plants
eating all the pretty
flowers

if I get my rifle out
its boom will say
more than
shoo

Sleek, fat marsh rats
can swim on in to shore
on a high spring tide
and wreak havoc in their wake

if I get my rifle out
its boom will say
more than
shoo

But what’s a guy to do
when white grub worms
chomp on the roots
of his lawn’s greening grasses

if I get my rifle out
it won’t say what I want
shootin’ at worms in springtime
would be a boneheaded thing to do

So, I guess it’s call
the lawn service guy
an expert with a bag of tricks
that does not include a rifle

He’ll do in the grubs
I won’t know how
but I’ll know that’s
why I pay him

My lawn will flourish
with grub worms gone
and my rifle safely
locked up in a closet

So a moral that you can take
from this springtime tale of woe
is that guns and bullets
ain’t always the way to go