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A Fairy Tale (fractured a bit)

The Princess and the Pee
by GC

Herewith is a story that takes place on a dark and stormy night. A princess lay atop her nine or so eiderdown mattresses listening to the downpour and thinking I have to pee but it's hell to clamber down from here. So she held it in, hoping that morning would come and her chambermaid would come with the chamber pot and save her the trouble of clambering down and going to la salle de bain (princesses have bathrooms with fancy French names) by herself. Still, the dark and stormy rain intensified her need to pee. And it came to pass that before the chambermaid appeared to tend her duties a prince appeared on the scene. He was a very tall prince -sort of Wilt the Stilt like- and his head was way above the level of the nine or so mattresses. He was also sort of an intellectual prince -much given to reading books- and so it was whispered throughout the kingdom that he was a prince with his head in the clouds, or that could have been just because he was so tall. Anyway he bent down and kissed the princess, which stimulated her bladder and caused her to turn into a frog. She hopped down from the nine or so mattresses and went and peed in a pond. Bladder empty, she lived happily ever after -on a lily pad. There was no word on what may have ever become of the Prince.

little book of poetry for you to enjoy.CLICKY

"I've always been crazy, it keeps me from going insane" `Waylon

Bad Moon Rising
By GC

New moon
waxing crescent
waxing gibbous
full moon

There,
the full moon
the the cluprit moon
roils grey matter

Waning gibbous
waning crescent
relieves the pressure
till the dangerous moon returns

Sussian

“HOP ON POP”
by Gerard C. Smith

Come "Hop on Pop," my Lisa said
And hop of course is what she did
Her brother joined in with a jump
On Poppa’s tum he went crash-bump
Lisa hopped and hopped some more
She knocked poor Poppa to the floor
Both kids did bounce, each up and down
Poor Pop was trounced and he did frown
Now he hates that bastard T. Geisel
And hopes the rotter roasts in hell

Boom!

Sometimes the Gun Won’t Do
By GC SMITH

Raccoons have been
climbing on my boat
leaving muddy prints
and lumpy poo

if I get my rifle out
its boom will say
more than
shoo

Deer are chomping
on foundation plants
eating all the pretty
flowers

if I get my rifle out
its boom will say
more than
shoo

Sleek, fat marsh rats
can swim on in to shore
on a high spring tide
and wreak havoc in their wake

if I get my rifle out
its boom will say
more than
shoo

But what’s a guy to do
when white grub worms
chomp on the roots
of his lawn’s greening grasses

if I get my rifle out
it won’t say what I want
shootin’ at worms in springtime
would be a boneheaded thing to do

So, I guess it’s call
the lawn service guy
an expert with a bag of tricks
that does not include a rifle

He’ll do in the grubs
I won’t know how
but I’ll know that’s
why I pay him

My lawn will flourish
with grub worms gone
and my rifle safely
locked up in a closet

So a moral that you can take
from this springtime tale of woe
is that guns and bullets
ain’t always the way to go

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