Friday, September 25, 2009

Spikin' The Pine Trees

Fight For Your Right To Comfort

Gol durn environmentalists killed the Charmin' bear cub and his momma. They did that an’ they ain’t one bit sorry. They claim to be protecting trees with their militancy. They won’t stop with the demise of those cutesy bears either. Next they'll be spikin' tree trunks. They're relentless. They’re determined to eliminate billowy toilet paper. They are anti-comfort fundamentalist Luddites. They hate progress.

Those ass wipe(oops, wrong adjectives) self righteous bastards will stop at nothing. If we don’t fight them they'll reduce us to scraping our bungholes with sandpaper or worse.

Well let me tell you, there's no way I'm going to go back to corncobs. No siree, Bob. Not me. I'll fight.

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