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Thursday, December 6, 2007

Redneck's Pick-em-up Tricks

Those Calvin Decals
by GC SMITH

Calvin once complained that there were not enough Ford pickup truck rear windows in the world. He'd been pissing on Chevy and Dodges and Toyotas and Nissans from those rear windows since he first got out of diapers. Despite his Mommy's aghast horror at his behavior Calvin wanted to piss on every damn one of them. Fords are the trucks and that was his message. Guy trucks. Manly trucks. Calvin wanted the whole world to get the word and pissing on those other brands was his way of spreading the truth. That was, of course, until that fateful day when all of the Chevy, Dodge, Toyota, and Nissan truck owners banded together with scrapers. From that day forward Ford pickup windows were clean. Calvin pissed no more. I can't begin to tell you, dear reader, how pleased Calvin's mother was to no longer live with her embarrassment. Poor woman, she simply didn't know her Calvin. He'd be back. This time he was going to moon those other pickup truck drivers.

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